Though not everyone can switch up their weekly worship service, move into a Christian commune or join a new church out of the blue, every family can naturally and consistently guide their children as their faith matures.
Our first big morning together was mad. Team members were in and out of our house, Asher received a swift hit to the head with a hurling stick, and I threw every single piece of fruit, meat and dairy on the table in hopes it would suffice jet-lagged bellies. The four of us drank the coffee pot dry within minutes and we were still in pajamas late into the morning, but that didn't matter at all.
Instead, what mattered most to me was this young couple from Kansas City who walked a short stretch of life with us, now sitting in our Irish kitchen. In those years, while we grew closer together and to Jesus, my kids witnessed it all. We broke the bread with them, a child by my side swaying to the words sung by these sweet friends.
"This is Christ's body, broken for you, Jack."
"Thanks, Mom," he said.
That was the year he was baptized, the year after we returned home to Kansas, the year before we came back here. In a backyard pool, with friends who so quickly became like family, he was raised into new life. Water dripping down, no longer afraid.
***
Several years ago, we stepped into a tiny downtown church plant with three little ones in tow. In a congregation of around 30, where our kids made up half the Sunday school class, they spent most of their Sunday mornings by our side. The baby nodded off on my hip, the preschooler fidgeted with a little pink Bible on her lap, and the growing boy held paper hymns, singing proudly.
Our decision to join this church resulted from our need for intimate fellowship after a period of spiritual weariness on the mission field. Yet it was our children who began their own faith journeys, learning how to worship, when to pray and where to see God at work. This burgeoning belief was an organic overflow of living life alongside a small group of believers, working out our salvation aloud, together and in our city.
Not only is a thriving church community vital for our kids’ spiritual growth, Scripture tells us of the importance a parent’s sincere faith has on their children: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5).
Though not everyone can switch up their weekly worship service, move into a Christian commune or join a new church out of the blue, every family can naturally and consistently guide their children as their faith matures.
Start young. The nursing baby on your lap will recognize your voice and remember the music of her nursery. Pray for your children audibly and openly throughout their baby, toddler and school-aged years. Help toddlers to recognize and name God’s creation and with preschoolers how to give thanks. Author Lysa TerKeurst writes, “When you’re trying to help kids learn who Jesus really is, start by sharing stories of who He is to you.” Improvise and personalize Scripture into modern bedtime stories and as they grow, encourage them to tell their own.
Let them see you worship. Consider finding a church that includes children in the worship service. Vulnerability in worship doesn’t always come easily, but the tender exhibiting of the awe and wonder we find in God will encourage our children to do likewise. When I’m tempted to force my growing children to stand and sing (some days they’re more willing than others), I instead try to embrace the times they can openly observe my joy in God’s presence. Often they will join in, and we worship him hand-in-hand.
Give and serve together. Look for (or start!) ways to serve with your family, in your church and in the wider community. Serving in soup kitchens, prayer walking your neighborhood or sponsoring a child in need will help your own children put feet to their faith. Serving and giving together allows them to practice acts of love for neighbor and obedience to God.
Encourage questions. Blogger Erika Sweeting crafts “Conversation Starters” as a way to engage children on their needs, fears, relationships and ideas about God. Simple leading thoughts like, “A time when it helps me to remember God’s promises is…” can encourage your child to place God’s word in his or her everyday life. These conversation starters may also lead to honest questions from your child: “Why is it hard to remember God’s promises? What do we do when we can’t see or feel him?” Make these conversation starters a habit at the breakfast table or at bedtime and allow the conversation to go where God leads.
Consider commissioning your children as they start the school year. Help them to understand their spiritual gifts or love languages and how to practice them at school. A child who’s love language is service can be a wonderful helper for new students. Praise and affirm the godly gifts you recognize in your child. Pray for them before that first day, that they would feel God’s presence during their days and that he would show them ways to be a light, loving and serving their classmates and teachers. This can help them understand their place in God’s story and the world.
As we guide our children, it’s important to remember that grace-filled modeling is essential for our kids to know a growing, vital faith. “Grace is the best advertisement for a personal relationship with the living God,” writes Tim Kimmel in Grace Based Parenting. “it’s the way He parents us.”
Failures, doubts or questions will come — as much for us as for them — and an open and loving relationship with our children will turn bumps in the faith road into opportunities for spiritual growth. Then together we can grow in faith, not just as parent and child, but as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Originally published at Vital Magazine.
(Also shout-out to my friend Erika who leads the way with #ConversationStarters for children to talk about God and faith).